Ahhh, I haven't posted anything in two years?! How time flies as we get older..and older... we remain here, in Grundy county. Our home is for sale- which is exciting...but it hasn't sold..so not so exciting. We dream of living somewhere where it never snows. A place that warms your bones when you go outside. Sun shines, the ocean waves in the background. It's a big dream, but someone has to have it. A neighbor recently said "Florida?! You can't move to Florida!" Immediately my hackles are raised. Of course I can move to Florida. People do it all the time. And just for the simple fact of you advising me that I can't move to Florida makes me want to move to Florida even if I hated it! :) Never tell me that I can't do something. I seriously think that at just the right time, things will fall into place. Apparently right now, we are supposed to be here. Why? I am not sure, but there are lots of things I am not sure about. What I am sure about is that I can move anywhere I please- and if I don't like it there, I can move again.
I didn't really have anything to say in this post... I simply posted because it had been two years since I had. Something wierd happened to me last night, and it is currently on my mind. Here it is...
I sometimes think that I am niave- sometimes I think I am childish. Are these two things amazingly different? I am not sure. Anyway, what basically happened was that I felt comfortable in my surroundings and with the people I was with, discussions were taking place, and it suddenly turned very personal- and my feelings were hurt. I feel like I might be wierd and here is why.. If I like you, I love you. If I don't like you, I really don't like you. Maybe it's because I am a Scorpio..at least that is what I have read in the newspaper... also I truly trust people. All the time... I dont trust everyone, but if I trust you, I trust you. and if you hurt my feelings, I REALLY feel hurt. I think that is dumb. Like I am a baby. And I wonder why I really trust people the way I do. I feel strongly - I feel most of my emotions very strongly. I take things seriously. and when my feelings are hurt, I am shocked and amazed that someone I trusted would hurt me. Is this dumb? Will I get over it with age? I dont know.. it was just on my mind. I might erase all this blubbering anyway... :)
On a lighter note, here is what is on my mind lately... an updated bucket list so to speak.
1. I want to learn to play the violin. Very badly.
2. I am considering being a stand up comedian. I keep writing material in a little notebook.
3. I bought a minivan. I swore I would NEVER have a minivan. But I love it. And it doesnt really seem like that big of a deal to own a minivan.
4. I got a new tattoo. Its fairly big-and I want more added to it. I want a half sleeve. Very badly.
5. I have become good friends with my tattooist. It's wierd, but I think for some reason, we were put in each others paths for some reason. If I never figure it out, it's not biggie. She is cool as hell!
6. Everyday I realize that I can trust my husband more than anyone else, if I just allow myself to do it.
7. I dont want to be cold, I am actually terrified of the coming winter. Like in a wierd, physical, terrified way.
8. I have developed some wierd driving phobias since living out here. They make me feel old and scared. I am scared of driving in snow and ice and I am terrified of hitting a deer. I also don't like it that I check the weather before I drive somewhere to avoid tornados, snow storms, and rainstorms. FREAK!
9. I have met some pretty cool people this year. Kathy M., Carrie B.
10. I wish God would let me have one do over, where he either sends me back in time just a tidge, or he just buys my house and pays off some credit cards and lets me have another go at it.
11. The thought that this is my one chance at life, and it's already 33 years into it scares the hell out of me.
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